“I love you too, sweetheart.”
Sobbing, she hung up and curled up on the couch.
* * * *
Thomas watched as Tyler looked at his phone and then walked outside, closing the back door behind him. Tyler stared at his phone like he was waiting for a call.
Ty had said nothing to him all afternoon despite his repeated apologies and trying to get him to talk. Tyler had anxiously paced through the house after he returned from trying to find Nevvie. She wouldn’t answer his calls. That Tyler—the peacemaker, the soother, the fixer, the talker—that he wouldn’t talk, much less look at him told Thomas how much he hurt.
Guilt ravaged Thomas. God he was a stupid asshole. What the hell had come over him anyway?
Then Tyler put the phone to his ear, talking. She must have called him back. Thomas waited. Tyler finally returned, hurrying straight for the bedroom, talking on the phone again, this time to someone else apparently. When Tyler reappeared a few minutes later, he also had a bag packed.
Well, he deserved for them to leave him. Between acting like an asshole and then what happened, he’d finally succeeded in pushing them away.
Tyler brought Thomas his cell phone. “There’s your phone. Pete will be here shortly. Keep it with you. If you fall or have a problem before he gets here you can call him or 911. Frankly, I don’t care which. I’ll leave the front door unlocked.” Tyler turned to go.
“Where are you going?” Thomas asked, fear creeping into his heart. He’d really fucked up this time.
Tyler didn’t turn. “I’m going to her and will try to talk her into coming home. If I can’t get her to come home, I’ll stay with her tonight. I don’t want her alone as upset as she is.” His voice sounded quiet. “You know damn well she doesn’t sleep well when she’s alone. Or have you forgotten that also?”
“Where is she?”
“If I tell you, she’ll have my bollocks. And I’m rather fond of them. At least one of us needs to keep her best interests in mind since apparently you aren’t capable of it anymore.” He wouldn’t turn.
“It didn’t mean anything. It…I was just flirting with her and it got out of hand. I never thought anything would happen.”
Tyler snorted with disgust. “Yes, kissing someone who doesn’t mean anything to you after we’ve been together for nearly two decades. That makes me feel sooo much better, Thomas. Be sure to tell that one to Nevvie. She’s liable to neuter you with her bare hands.”
Tyler let out a long, deep breath. “When we started this, with her, we agreed no one else. Just the three of us. If you wish to change that, you’re on your own. I do not want anyone but you and Nevvie. If you want someone new…well, then you’ll have to pursue that without the two of us.”
“I’m sorry, Ty.”
Tyler finally turned, his eyes bright with tears. “I’m sure you are. But try telling her that. Anything else. Couldn’t you have said anything else, you stupid sod?”
“What?”
Tyler shook his head, stared at the ceiling. “She’s mad about the kiss, yes. What has Nevvie distraught is what you said to that girl. I don’t know if Nevvie will ever forgive you that. I can’t say as I blame her if she doesn’t, either.”
Now Thomas was confused. “What did I say?”
Tyler glared at him. “Think about it. Was it really worth breaking Nevvie’s heart over that girl? Especially over someone who ‘didn’t matter’ to you? Replay that little vignette in your brain damaged head and think about it long and hard. The kiss she can forgive. Perhaps I can, too. What you said to that girl ripped a piece of Nevvie’s soul right out of her, and for that I don’t know if I can forgive you. You bloody well know what her life was like before us. We were the two people she trusted to never hurt her, to always love her, and then you went and did that to her.” Tyler headed for the door.
Thomas panicked, afraid if Tyler left he might not see him—or Nevvie—again. “I love you.”
Tyler stopped, his hand on the doorknob. “Yes, I love you, too. I fancy you should have been saying that to Nevvie and myself over the past few weeks. Or were you too busy saying it to Jennifer?” He walked out. Thomas flinched when Tyler slammed the door behind him.
He sat, confused, replaying it in his mind.
It hit him immediately. Nevvie’s stunned look.
Aw, Christ, could he have fucked his life up any worse if he’d tried?
It’d just been words. Just words. No touch, no foul? But man had he fouled up.
Pete arrived twenty minutes later, looking confused, an overnight bag slung over his shoulder. He left his bag in the hall, dropped his large frame into a living room chair and stared at Thomas.
“So,” Pete said. He stared at Thomas.
Thomas looked down, unable to meet the weight of Pete’s gaze.
Pete sighed. “You gonna tell me what the fuck you did to piss them off, or I gotta call Ty back and ask him myself?”
Thomas shook his head, still studying the floor. “I fucked up bad. Real bad.”
“I get that. I don’t get a call at night to come babysit your ass so Tyler can go find Nevvie and possibly stay with her because you left the toilet seat up and a floater in the bowl. What the fuck did you do?”
Thomas told him.
Pete sat back and groaned. “Jesus, you stupid fucking asshole.” He shook his head. “Those two were dying over you, man. You go do something fucking stupid like that?”
“I know.”
“No, you don’t know!” Pete roared, hauling his frame out of the chair, pacing in front of the couch. “Did they tell you what happened when she got the call about your accident?”
“Bob told me she got upset.”
He snorted, shaking his head. “Upset? Fuck that. Bob didn’t tell you everything, asshole. Ask your mom, she saw some of it, not the worst. You weren’t the one holding her down in the ER when she collapsed—I was. I held her while she was fucking screaming for you, sobbing at the top of her goddamn lungs, begging the doctors to give you back to her, about to lose her fucking mind over you, asshole. You don’t know shit! I will never in my life ever forget how she sounded, how she looked, how much she was hurting for the two of you. That will haunt me till my dying fucking day, man.”
He turned and jabbed a meaty finger at Thomas. “You didn’t see her losing fucking weight, spending all day every day, and then every goddamned night in the ICU with the two of you, worried about every fucking blip on your monitors. How she bathed and shaved you every night, talking to you, reading to you. And even after Tyler was home she was usually still over there with you every night after being there all day with you.”
He ran his hand through his hair. “Jesus Christ, Tommy. Jesus Christ.” He turned on his friend. “Bob didn’t fucking tell you and Tyler everything, man. We nearly had to drug Nevvie that day, okay? I’m not exaggerating when I say she lost her fucking mind. I could barely hang on to her, to keep her there, keep her from ripping that goddamn place apart looking for you. If Bob hadn’t been there to calm her down, I don’t know what I would have done. Fuck, man, she was this fucking close to losing her mind with Tyler in surgery. Then the ER calls about you, she panicked.”
Pete couldn’t stop his tears as he relived the events. “We were all fucking trying to hold it together for her, because if any of us lost it, we knew she was one Thorazine drip away from being admitted. What the fuck got into you, man?”
“I don’t know. I didn’t mean anything by it. I was being friendly and flirted a little and I got carried away and couldn’t stop.”
“I’m gay, asshole, and even I know the last fucking thing you do is call any woman by the same fucking pet name you call your wife. How could you even let it happen? Why flirt? You’ve got Tyler, who, frankly, is out of your league in the looks department. But he loves you crazy. I’ve never seen him so much as look at another man or woman, just the two of you. He still makes puppy dog eyes over both of you. And Nevvie? Hell, I thought she looked hot that n
ight at the party when you guys had her dressed up, and I haven’t lusted over a woman in about three decades, okay? What the fuck?”
“It was stupid.”
“No, asshole. Stupid is leaving your doors unlocked and the goddamn keys in the ignition of a brand new Porsche, and a ‘steal me’ sign on the dash. This puts stupid right out the fucking window.”
“I don’t know!” Thomas collapsed against the back of the sofa. “I don’t know. It just got out of hand. I felt good, I started looking forward to her coming over here, it made me feel good.”
“Did you ever think about asking your husband and wife to pay attention to you?”
Thomas studied his hands. “Why the fuck they gonna want me anymore, Pete?”
“You stupid asshole. They love you, that’s why. So you push away the two people who would have gladly switched places to be in that hospital bed instead of you, to flirt with some fucking cunt you don’t even want?”
Pete shook his head in disbelief. “You know, I wasn’t real sure about this whole thing when it started, frankly. You two and her. I liked her—I love her now like a baby sister—but I thought man, this is trouble. I honestly thought it’d be her wanting to leave or you wanting her all to yourself and not share her with Ty. I never in my wildest dreams would have imagined you’d do something so fucking goddamned stupid as to throw away not only what you have with her, but with Ty!”
“If I lose her, he’ll leave with her.”
Pete heavily sat, nodding. “Yep. I don’t doubt it. He loves you, but he won’t lose her, I can tell you that right now. Not after what she went through with Alex, and especially because of Adam. And you’ve stomped Ty’s heart to pieces in the process.”
“He’s mad about Nevvie being upset.”
“Fuck, yes. But worse, you cheated on him, dude. It doesn’t matter it was ‘just’ a kiss. To him, that was like telling him he wasn’t good enough for you anymore. He loves you. I’ve known him longer than you have. He’s never even looked at another guy since you came along. Or a woman, until you both hooked up with Nevvie. That’s what everyone was always amazed at, seeing you at parties before Nevvie, they’d say, ‘Look at how much he adores Tommy.’ That’s what people said. You could see it in his face.”
“How do I make it right?” he quietly asked.
Pete held up his hands. “Don’t ask me. You’d just better hope you get a chance to make it right, then spend the next few years on your fucking knees groveling like a son of a bitch. If you can do that, they’re letting you off easy.”
* * * *
Tyler still had keys and an alarm code to get into the building. He locked the outer door behind him and knocked on Thomas’ office door. “Nevvie, sweetheart?”
After a moment, she opened the door, her tear-streaked face breaking his heart. She broke down, sobbing, at the sight of him. He pushed in and locked the office door behind him, then led her to the sofa. She curled up with him and cried as he held her, his own tears flowing freely.
When she calmed down, she lay with her head in his lap and stared at their sleeping son. “What do we do? He keeps pushing us away. Doesn’t he want us anymore?”
“He did say he was sorry. I told him I’d pass along the message.”
She bitterly snorted. “I suppose he wants you to do his apologizing for him.”
“No, love,” he softly said. “I’ve barely spoken to him.” Dare he burden her with his pain?
As if reading his thoughts she rolled onto her back to meet his gaze. “Is it stupid for me to be more upset about what he said than the kiss?”
He shook his head. “No, love, it’s not. I understand why that hurt you so deeply.”
“It hurt you that he kissed her.”
He glanced away. “Perhaps he wants a newer model. Maybe he’s tired of me.”
She snuggled tighter. “I’ll never get tired of you. I love you. Promise me you’ll never be a jerk.”
“My love, I only have eyes for you. No one else could ever tempt me away.” He caressed her cheek. “I only have one angel, and it’s you. Always and only you.”
She cried again. “I’m such a moron. How many other people does he call that? Now I’m wondering, am I too stupid to have seen it? Does he call the check-out girl at Publix that? How about a waitress at the restaurant we have lunch at sometimes, you know? I’ve never heard you call anyone else angel but me.”
“That’s because I never have, and I never will. Only you. If it’s any comfort, I’ve never heard him call anyone else ‘baby girl’ but you.”
“Until today.”
He sadly nodded. “Until today.”
“So how much longer would it have gone on? I look back and I see it all clear as day. Every week he pushed us further away, he was practically eager to see her. Does he even love us anymore?”
“He claims he does. To be honest, I was too upset to talk with him.” He gently stroked her arm. “It’s late. Are you sure I can’t talk you into a hotel?”
“I don’t want to wake the baby.”
“Do you still have pillows and blankets here?”
“Yeah.” When she was pregnant she used to curl up on the couch to take naps in the afternoon while Tommy worked. “Now I sit and think back and wonder how long he’s been like this. Did he really love us? Ever?”
“Of course he did. Sweetheart, I don’t know what’s gotten into him—and believe me, I’m not making excuses for him—but it’s been since the accident.”
“He doesn’t even want to spend time with Adam anymore. How could he lie and tell her he wasn’t our husband? Is he ashamed of us?”
“Let’s try to sleep and we can sort it out in the morning, all right?” He couldn’t answer her because he had no answers. Her questions were the very ones running through his brain, and he knew he had to be strong for her. She’d shouldered so much over the past few months. He felt loathe to add to that burden.
They settled in on the sofa. It was a comfortably snug fit but considering they both needed the comfort from each other, they tightly spooned together. They eventually drifted to sleep with the TV sound turned low.
Chapter Seventeen
Thomas wanted to pace and couldn’t because of his fucked up leg. As the clock ticked closer to midnight, he knew damn well Tyler wasn’t coming home. Ty wouldn’t let Nevvie be alone no matter what. Especially when she was that upset.
Pete eventually walked to the guest room without another word and left the door open. Thomas knew he should go to bed but the thought—the guilt—of sleeping in their bed when he’d driven the two people he loved out of it was too much to bear.
I’m a stupid fucking asshole.
Where did she go? Was she still crying? Would she call Bob and ask him to dissolve their unusual union, to legally separate her from him, from them?
Would Tyler?
Hell, the two of them could go get married and make it official. Nevvie always swore no one would make her choose between them, but maybe he’d made her choice for her, and for Tyler.
He couldn’t sleep, his guilt gnawing at him. Stupid fucking asshole. It became a silent chant in his brain. Stupid fucking asshole. If he’d died in the accident, at least the two of them would be moving on, healing.
They’d be better off without him.
* * * *
Pete arose a little before seven and walked out to the kitchen to make coffee. “You awake?” he asked, his voice even huskier than normal from sleep.
“Yeah,” Thomas said from the couch.
“Did you sleep?”
“No.”
“Good.”
Not only had he hurt the two people he loved, he’d pissed off his best friend in the process.
“You don’t have to stay all day, Pete.”
“I don’t plan on it. Eddie’s coming over around eight. I’ve got shit to do.”
Aw, fuck. “Does he know?”
Pete snorted. “You’ll be lucky if he doesn’t castrate you himself.
You think you’re getting away with pulling shit like this and no one finding out, you’re fucking nuts. Just wait’ll your mother finds out. She’ll nail your balls to the wall if Karen doesn’t do it first.”
Thomas closed his eyes and silently groaned. Of course Momma would find out. She and Nevvie talked several times a week, as did Nevvie and Karen. There’s no way it wouldn’t come out.
“What do you want in your coffee?” Pete grumbled.
“Black, please.”
Pete brought a mug out and set it on the coffee table. “Need help getting to the bathroom or anything?”
“No. I’m okay.”
“Feeling fucking guilty?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” Pete turned on his heel and walked down the hall. A few minutes later, Thomas heard the shower in the guest bathroom.
He didn’t blame Pete. If their positions were reversed, he’d be just as pissed. Poor Nevvie. She’d been through so much, even before all this shit. Nearly getting killed by Alex twice, and now this. She’d run herself ragged taking care of them, and then he went and did something stupid like this to repay her.
He tried calling Tyler’s cell, hoping he would answer, knowing Nevvie probably wouldn’t talk to him.
* * * *
Tyler looked over Nevvie’s shoulder and saw his phone light up from where he’d left it on the end table, set to silent mode. She was still asleep. He didn’t dare move and wake her. She hadn’t slept much better than he had last night, restless until well after two a.m. before finally drifting off.
He could read the screen. Thomas.
Well, if he fell he can damn well call 911 or have Pete help him. If Thomas didn’t want or need their help, he wouldn’t get it. He wanted to be left alone? He’d get that, too. In spades, if he so desired.
He dropped his head to the pillow again and closed his eyes. He’d heard a few people enter the building already, knew Nevvie would awaken soon. Adam awoke and rolled over in his crib. He stared at him, a huge, gummy grin creasing his chubby face.